Little People, Big Idiot

The other day, the limo driver, Scotty came over right as we parked a car for a family of midgets.  Nothing surprising there, we’ve parked cars on several occasions for people of similar stature, but if you know Scotty, you know something awkward is going to happen.

He was amused by them, and was saying too loudly, “Look how cute those tiny people are.”  Thank goodness they went inside before he could say something terrible in front of us and other guests.  But he kept staring at them through the window.  “He looks real familiar.  I think I used to see him all the time at the wrestling matches.”

“What wrestling matches?”

“The wrestling matches that used to be at the old civic center.  Yeah, I’m pretty sure I would see him there all the time.  I think his name is Little Tokyo, or, I’m not sure, it was little something.”  The guy was not even Asian.  “I’m positive he was there, he looks so familiar”

“You should ask him if he was a wrestler.” (I know, I’m an asshole)

“Yeah, maybe I will.”  Scotty sees a manager inside and hesitates. “I’ve got to wait though.  The managers don’t like me talking to the customers.”

I wonder why?

“Those little fellas were hilarious, they used to beat the tar out of each other.  I remember one time in a tag team match, it was a regular guy and a midget, against two regular size fellas.  When his team-mate would get his opponent into the ropes, that little fella, would grab his legs to help out.  One time, it was just the little guy and the big guy they were wrestling, and it wasn’t fair at all.  The big guy was pounding on him, and eventually threw him right out of the ring.  You should have seen how far he flew.”

We got busy and I lost track of Scotty.  He showed back up later and said, “He wasn’t a wrestler, I asked him.”

“You actually asked him if he was a wrestler?”

“Yeah, he said he wasn’t, so I guess he isn’t Little Tokyo.  I think he must have rode the city bus I drove.  I think that’s where I know him from.”

He walked away completely oblivious that what he did was wildly inappropriate.  I guess we’re just fortunate he didn’t ask him if he was carrying the magic acorns that can turn people into stone.

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