Whenever it snows enough for the plows to come out and clear the roads, without fail, they leave the entire valet zone, ten feet wide and sixty feet long, filled with snow at least a foot deep. So it is our immense joy to begin the shift shoveling all of this snow. It usually looks a little something like this:
3 hours later, we’d finally finished shoveling. We had the three shovels leaning against the building in a neat little row. They stayed there until the end of the shift.
Several hours latert, a strange little German fellow that looked like he was heading to a costume party dressed as one of the members of Milli Vanilli, stopped and stared in deep rapturous desire at the neat little row of shovels. He was wearing a white one-piece jump suit with his bare chest exposed, a coat over it, and a white headband that kept his stringy long hair out of his mascaraed eyes. He was incredibly flaming and obviously out of his mind on something
“Ew, Zees are fantastiche, are zey for sale? How much are zey?”
“No, they’re not for sale.”
“But zey are on display, zey are not for sale?”
“Zen why are zey displayed zo nicely?”
“We used them to shovel the snow. When we finished using them, we set them against the building.”
“Why would you display zem like zis if zey are not for sale?”
“I don’t know what you want me to say, but they’re not for sale.”
“Zat’s to bad. I would’ve bought one.”
At this point I just laughed at the ridiculous way the guy looked, and the fact that it was like talking to a wall, explaining they were not for sale. He had the same confused look as a dog, head cocked and dumbfounded at my answers. He wandered off and immediately ran into a man dressed as Santa Claus. He started talking to Santa, and I moved in to try to get a photo of the chance encounter.
The only thing I heard before Santa stormed off in anger was:
“Hey Santa, can you bring me a big black cock to play with for Christmas?”
The photo below is right after the Santa shouted, “What? I don’t have any cocks for you!” Then promptly stormed off in anger.
Guess who’s making the naughty list this year?