I had seen the man earlier in the evening when I popped my head into the restaurant. I remember taking note of him because he looked almost exactly like Roger Sterling from Mad Men. We were busy and I thought nothing more of it for the better portion of the night, that is until I saw him again walking down the sidewalk towards me.
It was a cold winter night, and windy, and this man was not wearing a coat, just a sweater and a pair of jeans. The reason that he stuck out so boldly and grabbed my attention, was that he had pissed himself. He hadn’t just pissed himself, it would have taken more than one bladder release to make the amount of wet that covered this man’s pants. We’re talking 70% wet, 30% dry. An epic pants wetting if I had ever seen one.
I got the attention of two other co-workers and pointed it out. I’ve been doing this for a while, and I’ve never seen anything like it. The man wandered with his hands in his pocket and his head down, as if he were trying desperately to balance, and at the same time watch each footstep so that he wouldn’t stumble. This only caused him to walk in the typical fashion of a drunk who appears as if they are on the deck of ship in stormy seas.
He mumbled something as he approached us, and then headed back in the direction he had come from. It was just as mesmerizing watching him walk away. I don’t know how urine can get so high up on one’s butt unless he was seated when it happened. That was the last we saw of him, until the ambulance arrived a block down from us.
The man had tripped or stumbled and fallen. His head hit the corner of the stone building with such force, that it split open, leaving a large gash. The man lay in a pool of his own blood and piss, while the paramedics tried to attend to him. He was carted off. He said he was looking for his car so that he could drive home. He had headed in the complete opposite direction, instead finding his way to the emergency room, some stitches, and what a presume to be a pounding headache in the morning.