I Create a Larry David Moment

Sometimes I have a penchant for saying or doing things at awkward moments.  I once sang a song I made up about Choco Tacos, and turned to find myself crooning “Chocolate Taco” into a black woman’s face.

Sure these moments are awkward, mostly for myself, but they rarely have a domino effect impacting other people’s lives.  Not so this time …

I was just looking for was someone to cover my shift.  I don’t remember what was going on, I just needed the night off.  I sent a batch text to my coworkers asking if anybody wanted to take the shift from me.  Two people responded within seconds of each other.  So I told them I would flip a coin, one person called heads or tails.  I did it on the honor system, then texted the winner.

Unbeknownst to me, he was having dinner with his girlfriend. She was having one of those days where she was feeling self-conscious and insecure, so my texts were probably distracting.  I had no idea.

He had a new phone, so my number wasn’t plugged into his list of contacts.  It came up as Unknown when I texted him.  There was no response when I let him know the shift was his.  I thought I’d text something funny hoping when he didn’t text back to confirm.  I wrote:  “Thanks, I owe you a big kiss next time I see you.”  Still no response the rest of the night.

Here’s what happened:

When I sent the funny text, his phone vibrated on the table.  His girlfriend asked, “Aren’t you going to see who it is?”

“No it’s okay, I’ll look at it later.”

“What if it’s important?”  She grabbed the phone to look.

This is what she saw:

Unknown
Thanks, I owe you a big kiss next time I see you.

“Who is she?”  She accused him of cheating on her, began crying, and ran to the bathroom and locked herself in.

He had to go coax her out, and try to explain to her that it was just me, a guy he works with.  I’m sure he was cursing me in his mind at that moment.  The timing was incredibly bad.

What are the odds of a goofy text, syncing with an awkward night, creating a shit storm?

I have no idea, but somehow I caused it.

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