Simpsons Fingers Revisited: The Fast Freddy Edition

Remember this guy:

I found out two things.  Why he was arrested, and his real name.  It’s Freddy.

As for his arrest, Freddy was fingered for going into nice hotels, restaurants, and buildings to empty his piss and shit bags all over their floors.  Usually people would just find the mess, but he was caught in the act and arrested.

He’s well-known all over town by hotel and restaurant staff as Fast Freddy because his wheelchair is incredibly zippy, and he enjoys hitting people with it.  Freddy has become so notorious, that the police organized a meeting with the city’s business leaders to discuss what a nuisance he’s become.  There were almost a hundred people who showed up, and after hearing all of the complaints, a judge filed a geo-specific restraining order on Freddy.

He’s now geographically restricted from coming anywhere downtown.  There’s an almost 3 square mile area he’s not allowed inside of anymore.  If he’s caught inside of this zone he’ll be immediately arrested.

I don’t think anyone downtown will miss him.  He’s one of the most aggressive and abrasive street people I’ve ever had to deal with.

I guess he won’t be charging up inside our business anymore.

He won’t be missed.

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