Actual Conversations: What Would You Do For $20

Valet #1:  “I was watching this short clip on Youtube the other day.  Basically these guys bet their friend twenty dollars he won’t touch some poop in the toilet.  So he reached into the toilet and grabbed the shit and squeezed it between his fingers.”

Valet#2:  “Gross.”

#1:  “Then he ran after his friends trying to touch them with it.”

#2:  “I think I would probably throw up the minute the shit came out of the water and I smelled it.”

Valet #3:  “Me too … that’s disgusting.”

#1:  “I don’t think it would be that gross … I’d do it.”

#2:  “You’d touch someone else’s shit for twenty dollars?”

#1:  “It’s not that big of deal.  I’d want to cut my fingernails first so it couldn’t get under them and make me smell it all day, but I’d totally do it.”

#2:  “Tell you what … I’ll give you twenty bucks.  Give me a minute and I’ll go in there (the restaurant) and take a shit.  I’ll go Forty if you carry it out with you so that we can see it.”

#1:  “I’ve touched cow shit before.  It’s not that much different.”

#3:  “Dry cow shit is a lot different from wet cow shit.  Have you ever touched wet cow shit.”

#1:  “I’m sure the texture is similar to human poop.  It’d have the same fibrous density.”

#3:  “No it wouldn’t.”

#2:  “It would be totally different.  You have no idea what I’ve been eating.”

#3:  “You can just pick up dried cow shit and throw like a frisbee, even I’ve done that.”

#1:  “Look, I’m just saying that I wouldn’t have a problem with it.”

#2:  “Ok, twenty bucks.  I’ll shit and you pick it up.”

#1:  “If the restaurant saw me I’d get in trouble.

#3:  “So that’s a no?

#1:  “I’m not saying I want to do it, I’m saying I wouldn’t have a problem doing it.”

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