Drunkeness and Flip-Flops Just Don’t Mix

My Coworker reminded me yesterday about the bad combination of extreme intoxication and wearing flip-flops. He’d watched a girl at the state fair try for 5 minutes to get one back on her feet.

Yes, it’s truly amusing for the rest of us to watch you try to balance and wriggle your way back into your errant flop, but if you’re not careful it can be extremely dangerous.

Case in point the picture below:

Out for the count, and out of his footwear 

This scene occurred across the street from me at work.  I don’t know exactly what happened, but I can Columbo my way into figuring out a good explanation.

Note the beard (beer drinker for sure) and the cut off khaki shorts and t-shirt.  This is the uniform of a drunk.  Now notice the pair of flip-flops on the ground behind him.  The positioning of his body would suggest a struggle, and the distance and the pattern of the flip-flops from the rest of him would suggest an epic spill.

The only solution could be that in a fit of drunken imbalance, a flop came off his foot.  He clearly tried several times to slip it back on while standing on one foot, but he only managed to push the flop around until it ended up perpendicular to that of the foot still wearing the other flop (the balancing foot).

It seemed simple, just a quick twist of the body and the flop would easily be back on his foot.  But he’s drunk, so nothing is as simple as should be.

The twist became too sudden for his body to compensate.  He may have over rotated, or he may have just forgotten what he was doing half way through.  The point is, that this mundane task was far too complex at his point of inebriation.  He couldn’t help but fall to the ground like sack of potatoes, losing his other flop in the process.

At that point of embarrassment it’s usually best to play opossum.

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One Response to Drunkeness and Flip-Flops Just Don’t Mix

  1. Claire says:

    Those look more like Adidas slip on sandals, even simpler to put on your feet than flip flops, making this man even more of a drunken disaster.

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