Professional Drinkers

You may see what you think are alcoholics from time to time, but you have no idea.  So mom has a little hooch hidden in the medicine cabinet, and Dad brings a flask with him to the high school football game.  Big deal.Uncle Steve getting a bit to frisky with the relations at the family Christmas party has nothing on the bottom of the rung spirit seekers I encounter daily in this town.

Have you ever been offered a pull from a bottle of Listerine by a group of toothless drunks that appear to be sweating said breath freshener out of their pores?  I have.

Ever walked around town at 9am while beggars and street urchins drink 4loko out of paper bags leaning up against buildings because they can’t stand up?  Come downtown some time.

Yes, There's Alcohol I Pure Vanilla Extract

Vanilla Extract, It’s Not Just For Cooking Anymore

This empty bottle of Vanilla Extract was ditched after being chugged in its entirety.  People will drink all manner of delightful products to get drunk.

So when you suburbanites come downtown and see an urban camper passed out on the sidewalk, stairwell, or park bench, don’t worry.  Target was just having a sale that day.

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