Tag Archives: Homeless

Professional Drinkers

You may see what you think are alcoholics from time to time, but you have no idea.  So mom has a little hooch hidden in the medicine cabinet, and Dad brings a flask with him to the high school football … Continue reading

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Vinny’s Valet Boot Camp

This is an actual letter our old valet company received after asking their employees what they could do to hire better valets: Pat, Here is my input:  Each new prospective valet will have to complete the valet boot camp.  Valet … Continue reading

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Simpsons Fingers Revisited: The Fast Freddy Edition

Remember this guy: I found out two things.  Why he was arrested, and his real name.  It’s Freddy. As for his arrest, Freddy was fingered for going into nice hotels, restaurants, and buildings to empty his piss and shit bags … Continue reading

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Guest Post: The Stare Down

Today I’m putting up a guest post.  I’ve never done one before, but I’d like for it to become a common occurrence. Today’s post comes compliments of my buddy Miles.  I’ve stood curbside with him in the past, but I … Continue reading

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Simpson’s Fingers

Simpson’s Fingers is probably the most hated bum in all of downtown.  Why do we call him Simpson’s Fingers?  Look at his hands, now look at Homer’s hand … That’s right, three fingers and a thumb. The reason he’s so … Continue reading

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Dry Your Tears the Policeman Said

I had just pulled a car up, and was waiting for the owner to come out of the restaurant. Instead, two gentlemen came out arguing.  One was a short white man in a pea coat, with blond hair beibered to … Continue reading

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Lionel Richie and the Lady with the James Brown Hair

I typically see the same homeless people everyday.  They become part of the fabric of my work environment after a while, so when all of sudden one of the faces you see everyday disappears, you notice.  I may not miss … Continue reading

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